It's Really Easy to Hate Right Now
It’s really easy to hate other people for not sharing your beliefs.
It’s easier to judge people for their: actions, title, job, relationship status, partner, clothes, taste in music, political party, social media (did they or did they, not blackout their account?)…. The list could literally go on for eternity.
We have learned to judge. It almost makes us feel good.
To pin ourselves up against one another to see who is winning in the race of life. To see who is living with the most style, #bonuspoints.
We compare and contrast others to not only see how we are chalking up but to also label things as good and bad.
What we haven’t been told is that what we think is “good and bad” is part of our belief system and our beliefs can change.
What is a belief anyway?
“A belief is just a thought we keep on thinking. ”
be·lief (Noun)(1.) an acceptance that a statement is true or that something exists. (i.e. “his belief in the value of hard work”. (2) trust, faith, or confidence in someone or something (i.e. “a belief in democratic politics”
The above definition is from dictionary.com.
Notice, that nowhere in that definition does it say “truth” or “your belief is definitely, without a doubt, right”.
That is why everyone’s beliefs are different. Everyone has been told, taught, and experienced different things which have led to what they hold beliefs that they hold as truths.
This issue is, we have not been told our beliefs aren’t truths. We have been taught to judge others for not holding our beliefs.
For example, I grew up in a religion that taught me every other religion was wrong. If you were not my childhood religion, you had the wrong beliefs and those beliefs were to cost you everlasting life. It was our job to convince others their beliefs were wrong and convert them to our beliefs because ours were definitely truths. WTF…
Want a non-religious example? Let’s think about fashion. We are taught to look at fashion icons, magazines, ads, and websites to see who is “cool”. (I completely acknowledge that me saying “cool” makes me not cool). It is our belief that us copying other’s fashion trends we can be cool. It is also our belief that whoever doesn’t have cool clothes is lame.
STOP THINKING YOUR BELIEFS ARE TRUTHS!
If beliefs are thoughts we keep on thinking, then we can begin thinking other thoughts and make them our beliefs….
But here is the catch…. We have to want to change our beliefs.
Why It’s Hard AF to Change Our Beliefs
Our beliefs have kept us safe.
Most of our beliefs have been taught or learned from people we love and respect.
Our beliefs are intended to:
keep us safe
keep us from being judged (another way to stay safe)
keep us in good graces with family/friends (safety in numbers)
follow along with beliefs taught from an organization because you feel that that is how you stay safe and protected in this life and the afterlife…. (safety)
This can be used for any deep-rooted belief. Continue reading to learn what I do to test if something is DEFINITELY true.
You Might Be Wrong…
Fighting words in my house… Also fighting words in my brain.
Nobody likes to be wrong. In fact, we only get up and complete our day on the belief that we are right…. But we never once compare and contrast facts and beliefs. We just blindly follow our beliefs because it has kept us “safe”.
We hate and judge others we different beliefs because it’s easier to judge than hear them out. It’s easier to judge than to be wrong.
We hate and judge others because we believe we can have the right to judge. (example: I’m definitely right and you’re definitely wrong).
This is where I suggest you look into Byron Katies’ work. Learn more from this eloquent woman, here.
In there she asks these four questions:
Is it true?
Can I ABSOLUTELY know it’s true
How do I react when I think this thought?
Who would I be without this thought?
Bonus - can you turn that thought around and find proof of the opposite? ( She gets much more. in-depth, really go check out her work)
Move-In Closer
All of these beliefs are causing a great divide. We group ourselves with these beliefs and think we have the right to kick aside others’ beliefs. Then nothing changes.
How can we learn to have difficult conversations? How can we step closer to see others and then articulately communicate how we feel?
It is an old wives tail that you can’t fight fire with fire… And you can’t fight hate with more hate.
Brene Brown has one of my favorite quotes and it reads, “People are hard to hate close up. Move-in”. I completely believe this.
Instead of finding more hate or looking for more hate, can we look for more love? Can we look for similarities and then educate others on our beliefs. Can we step closer to others, especially when it is easier to judge from afar?
When we judge others, it doesn’t make our judgment true about others. Wayne Dyer is quoted saying “ When you judge another, you do not define them, you define you”.
Break the Pattern.
I challenge you to break the pattern of judgment and hate. When you feel yourself getting ready to judge, can you step closer?
When it is easier to just shut down, can you open up and move forward with love?
Moving forward with love does not mean that we sit back and do nothing. It means we move forward with love and compassion so we can make a larger difference than we could with anger.
Love is the greatest force out there and one of the highest vibrations… Use it!
This month we continue to work on the theme of love in the membership. The membership is also free the entire month of June.
If you want to jump in and do the work, please use the code “chooselove’’ at checkout.
All the love,
Kylie